Interview: Philomena Lee

Philomena Lee appears to be your average grandmother of 78. But when you hear her story, it's hard to not feel a huge amount of admiration for her.

Her story, brought into our consciousness thanks to the book, The Lost of Philomena Lee by Martin Sixsmith and the recently released Hollywood blockbuster, Philomena, is a shockingly sad, but not uncommon tale.

Falling pregnant out of wedlock as a teenager in Ireland 1952, Lee was sent to a convent at Roscrea in Co. Tipperary. Now deemed a fallen woman she would go on to give birth to her son at the convent, and care for him for just three years until the Church sold him to America for adoption.

As harrowing as it sounds today, in the 1950s it was not a rare occurrence. Countless women faced the same fate as Lee.

So how does it feel to be the one to have her story made into a major motion picture?

'I just didn't know what to think,' Lee confesses.

'I was frightened at first, but people seem to be so pleased that I've told the story. I was amazed by it all.'

'All I ever wanted to do was find him; I never thought there would be a book or a film. I just wanted to find him.'

Despite there already being a book in existence when the film was being made, Lee and her daughter Jane were heavily involved.

'We approved of the film. Steve Coogan was so good, everything we told them over the month they were interviewing us, they took everything on board. You couldn't fault them at all.'

'They showed us all the scripts and there were one or two things in it I didn't care too much about, so they didn't put them in.'

'There was some dramatic licence,' her daughter Jane adds.

'But all the early scenes with the young Philomena, they're very accurate to how mum told them what happened.'

Although they both admit there were some awkward moments whilst watching the film.

Jane tells me the fact that Judi Dench's character is made to look like a simple one at the start 'was a bit awkward when we first watched it.'


'But subsequently you realise that she is a greater character at the end of the film.'

'Now we've seen it several times we laugh all the way through like everyone else does, and cry. Overall we were both very happy with the way they told the story.'

Her need to keep her story secret for so long is not surprising. When Lee fell pregnant, her father denied her completely.

'He didn't want to know me at all. He told the family I was dead to him.'

Despite making up with her father before his death in 1997 ('we were good friends before and I was so pleased about that because you can't go on holding grudges forever'), It was that fear that stopped her from speaking out. However when she did finally tell her son and daughter Jane ten years ago, their reaction was quite the opposite.

'My immediate reaction was I felt incredible sorry for her. I've got children myself so I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child at three-years-old. But I was also delighted to think I had another brother. I just wanted to find him. I was really happy about the fact that I had this brother somewhere out there.'

Lee spent three years at the convent rearing her soon Anthony (renamed Michael by his American parents, Doc and Marge Hess).

'Anthony was just the most gorgeous lovely little boy. His adoption was quick in the end. You couldn't leave that place; there was nowhere you could go. I used to beg them to find me a job somewhere so I could take him; they just said I had to wait for him to be adopted.'

'The little girl that was adopted with him, little Mary, he was always with her. When the mother came, she didn't want the little boy because she had three boys at home in Missouri, America. But every time they came to look at Mary there was Anthony tagging behind.'

'The last time she saw him Anthony went up to her and gave her a kiss. She rang her husband and said please can I bring the little boy. She said she couldn't leave him.'

'When I look back I just think about the kindness of her heart really.'

It's hard to not have huge admiration for this woman. Despite the pain she went through, she is quite calm when she simply says 'that's just how Ireland was in those days.'

'Families would reject their daughters, they didn't want to know them if they knew they had babies out of wedlock because the church said we were sinners and that was it.'

Unsure if I could be so understanding in the same situation, I wonder how she finally managed to find peace.

'It took me a long time, a very long time. When I left the convent they got me a job in Liverpool in a boys school and I was still very angry.'

'After two years I decided I was going to do nursing. I worked in a psychiatric hospital for 30 years and I can assure you, you see life in a psychiatric hospital.'

'So gradually over the years I forgot my anger because there's so much sorrow caused through anger. Seeing so much of life in the hospital, there were some great times and bad times, I saw a lot of sadness and most of it was caused by anger and upset.'


Although Lee is still religious, the film has led to some negative feeling towards the church.

'It was nothing to do with running the catholic religion down,' Lee tells me.

Lee and her daughter Jane watched the film at the Vatican and even met the Pope.

'Me meeting the pope, can you imagine!' Lee laughs

'It was such an honour; he is such a lovely man.'

Jane continues 'we watched the film with two of the archbishops who approved of it, they didn't in the slightest think it was anti-Catholic. So I think that's a pretty good endorsement of the film.'

Lee and Jane both hope, and believe, that the story will help others who may have a similar tale. Indeed the film has seen the foundation of the Philomena Project in the hope of reuniting some of the 2200 babies that were adopted to America and to help raise awareness.

'I think over the years it will help, even now it's beginning to help people, especially women my age. We were all too frightened to come out with the story because we so ostracised at the time. We had committed a mortal sin according to our religion; it was an awful thing to have a baby out of wedlock.'

For Lee, sadly the outcome was the worst possible scenario. Having finally tracked Anthony down she found that he had died of HIV some years earlier in 1995.

Despite that Jane thinks people like her mother would be worse of not knowing and thus urge women to start their search.

'Even though that was the worst outcome, she's happier that she knows what happened to him. It's the not knowing that is the hardest. I don't think any harm will come to those who come forward, the harm they think will come to them probably won't.'

'We've started the ball rolling,' Lee continues.

'It was the not knowing, all my life I used to say to my brother, God I wondered where he is, he could have been on drugs, anything. I used to worry, worry, worry about him all the time.'

The heartache of losing a loved one can be unbearable. Indeed, when Philomena found out her son had died, she tells me 'it was like losing him for a second time.'

'At least now I know he had a good life and I've put him to rest. I'm happy about that. I pray and talk to him every day. I've put him to rest in my heart and I know he is in peace in heaven.'