FIRST IMPRESSIONS: FELIX DENNIS
What are you working on?
A poem.
When are you most happy?
When I’m wandering, with no purpose, through the woods in England.
What is your greatest fear?
Horrible illnesses. I also dread getting into my 80s and 90s, when suddenly people that you know become shells.
What is your earliest memory?
Being swung around in a sandpit near the River Thames by my father, not long after the war.
Who has been your greatest influence?
For making money, Bill Ziff : perhaps the finest magazine publisher of the last half of the 20th century. For writing, Tom Paine. Music, John Lee Hooker – he stopped me studying at college.
What do you most dislike about yourself?
I’m impatient.
What is your most treasured possession?
A first edition of Sylva, the greatest book ever written about trees, in 1664, by John Evelyn. I also have his working copy. But I always say everything is for sale. Except my mother, my lover and my dog. And the dog is perhaps negotiable.
What trait do you deplore in others?
Unkindness. I place more trust in kindliness than I do in all the religions of the world.
Do you have a fantasy address?
I don’t think so. I go to all the places that I fantasise about, and quite often build homes there.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I wish I looked like Johnny Depp, but I can write a Shakespearian sonnet or a French villanelle, and I know that he can’t.
What is your all-time favourite book?
The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary. Not a day goes by when I don’t use it.
Your favourite film?
The last time I saw a movie, I was forced into it by George Lucas, who made me watch The Empire Strikes Back. At the time, I published books for his Star Wars movies, so I was making millions from his genius. But that film was the most boring two hours ever.
Your favourite music?
I love jazz, blues, and a lot of popular music. It’s impossible to choose.
Your favourite meal?
Caviar, out of the tin, on toast, with a slug of proper Russian vodka.
Who would you most like to come to dinner?
Tom Paine, Elizabeth I, one of those Roman Emperors – Caesar would probably be a bit tedious, though – Mark Antony and Cleopatra.
Which historical character do you most admire?
Tom Paine, Shakespeare; also Stephen Hawking.
What is the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to you?
I’ve been rich for too long. No one says nasty things to rich people.
Do you believe in aliens?
I’m sure there are other life forms, but not here. I suppose there are a few odd characters, like Tony Blair, but there we are.
What is your secret vice?
I always sleep sitting up, in comfortable chairs with a footstool.
Do you write thank-you notes?
Yes. And anyone who doesn’t wasn’t listening to their mother.
Which phrase do you most overuse?
If I knew, I’d stop doing it. I’m a pedant of a grammarian – I’m supposed to use the English language correctly.
What would improve the quality of your life?
I had a wonderful youth, full of sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll. So I would like to be young again.
What would you like your epitaph to read?
My friends were true
Much wealth was mine
I toasted life
In verse and wine –
Luck haunted me
Though none knew why.
And now my trees spit in death’s eye.
Love, Of A Kind, by Felix Dennis, is published by Ebury Press, priced £12.99.
A poem.
When are you most happy?
When I’m wandering, with no purpose, through the woods in England.
What is your greatest fear?
Horrible illnesses. I also dread getting into my 80s and 90s, when suddenly people that you know become shells.
What is your earliest memory?
Being swung around in a sandpit near the River Thames by my father, not long after the war.
Who has been your greatest influence?
For making money, Bill Ziff : perhaps the finest magazine publisher of the last half of the 20th century. For writing, Tom Paine. Music, John Lee Hooker – he stopped me studying at college.
What do you most dislike about yourself?
I’m impatient.
What is your most treasured possession?
A first edition of Sylva, the greatest book ever written about trees, in 1664, by John Evelyn. I also have his working copy. But I always say everything is for sale. Except my mother, my lover and my dog. And the dog is perhaps negotiable.
What trait do you deplore in others?
Unkindness. I place more trust in kindliness than I do in all the religions of the world.
Do you have a fantasy address?
I don’t think so. I go to all the places that I fantasise about, and quite often build homes there.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I wish I looked like Johnny Depp, but I can write a Shakespearian sonnet or a French villanelle, and I know that he can’t.
What is your all-time favourite book?
The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary. Not a day goes by when I don’t use it.
Your favourite film?
The last time I saw a movie, I was forced into it by George Lucas, who made me watch The Empire Strikes Back. At the time, I published books for his Star Wars movies, so I was making millions from his genius. But that film was the most boring two hours ever.
Your favourite music?
I love jazz, blues, and a lot of popular music. It’s impossible to choose.
Your favourite meal?
Caviar, out of the tin, on toast, with a slug of proper Russian vodka.
Who would you most like to come to dinner?
Tom Paine, Elizabeth I, one of those Roman Emperors – Caesar would probably be a bit tedious, though – Mark Antony and Cleopatra.
Which historical character do you most admire?
Tom Paine, Shakespeare; also Stephen Hawking.
What is the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to you?
I’ve been rich for too long. No one says nasty things to rich people.
Do you believe in aliens?
I’m sure there are other life forms, but not here. I suppose there are a few odd characters, like Tony Blair, but there we are.
What is your secret vice?
I always sleep sitting up, in comfortable chairs with a footstool.
Do you write thank-you notes?
Yes. And anyone who doesn’t wasn’t listening to their mother.
Which phrase do you most overuse?
If I knew, I’d stop doing it. I’m a pedant of a grammarian – I’m supposed to use the English language correctly.
What would improve the quality of your life?
I had a wonderful youth, full of sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll. So I would like to be young again.
What would you like your epitaph to read?
My friends were true
Much wealth was mine
I toasted life
In verse and wine –
Luck haunted me
Though none knew why.
And now my trees spit in death’s eye.
Love, Of A Kind, by Felix Dennis, is published by Ebury Press, priced £12.99.