'I still think of Caron hundreds of times a day'
It’s the ninth anniversary of Caron’s death this week, but somebody asked me recently if I still think of my daughter very much. I went: “Are you crazy? I think of her hundreds of times every single day,”’ Gloria Hunniford shrieks.
Gloria has just celebrated her 73rd birthday but she still draws admiring glances and has a compelling, magnetic charm. Beneath the surface, however, she is constantly masking an undiminishing grief. As many readers will know, her life-changing tragedy happened when her daughter, Caron Keating, was diagnosed with breast cancer and died in her arms after a seven-year fight. She was just 41 years old. Also a much-loved TV presenter, Caron left behind her showbusiness agent husband, Russ Lindsay, and their two sons, Charlie, then aged 10 and Gabriel, seven.
Gloria felt like a ‘frozen cube’, trying to claw her way out of a black hole. But although she now has her megawatt smile back, her grief remains.
When Gloria was a child and troubled by something, her mother used to say: ‘Can you mend it, can you apologise, can you do anything about it? If you can, then do it and don’t leave any stone unturned. If you can’t, then let it go, because otherwise it will make you bitter.’
She’s never forgotten those wise words. Nor did she ever forget the determined work ethic installed in her by her draconian, newspaper advertising executive father.
Born in the front bedroom of a small terraced house in Portadown, Northern Ireland, Gloria was singing on the stage from the age of eight. After marrying cameraman Don Keating, she came to London in 1982 to stand in for Jimmy Young on Radio 2.
Although Don preferred to stay in Ireland, which led to their separation in 1985, their three children, Caron, Paul and Michael, stayed with Gloria. Yet she managed to juggle family and career, making her mark on radio and television and interviewing everyone from Salman Rushdie to Kirk Douglas.
Work was her first refuge after Caron’s death on 13 April 2004. ‘At first you go into this black hole, but a lady wrote to say: “Keep busy. It doesn’t matter what it is because it diverts your mind from loss.” She was right,’ says Gloria.
‘Work has always been my safe haven. So I took myself back to work within about two months. It made me think about other people and that was part of my coping,’ says Gloria who married celebrity hairdresser, Stephen Way, in 1998.
So too was setting up The Caron Keating Foundation with Russ. The foundation financially supports small but significant cancer charities that finance professional carers, treatment centres and support groups.
‘The foundation has been the explains Gloria. ‘After Caron died, thousands of people wrote to me – I stopped counting at 8,000 – but one letter stood out. The lady said: “Now you have to try to make sense of something that makes no sense and you have to find a way of carrying Caron’s spirit forward.”
‘Then she said something profound; that I have to remember that Caron had a very big soul and the soul is bigger than death and death is never the end. So in that one letter I realised I had to set up the foundation to help cancer sufferers all over the country.’
The foundation is a family-run tabletop operation. ‘I administrate it at no cost and we have one part-time secretary. That’s the only expense so all the money we collect goes into hands-on stuff, such as counselling services and transport to chemotherapy sessions.’
The latest fundraiser for the foundation is The Night Of 1,000 Stars, a star-studded evening celebrating musical theatre at London’s Royal Albert Hall, in May.
Introduced by Alan Titchmarsh and celebrating music from the productions of Hal Prince, the evening promises a roll call of stars singing songs from hit shows including West Side Story, Evita, The Phantom Of The Opera, A Little Night Music, Sweeney Todd and Cabaret.
Caron Keating
Caron was 34 and had just had her second baby, Gabriel, when she found a lump. ‘I said: “It’s only a milk lump, darling,” because at that point I personally didn’t know any young girl in her 30s who had breast cancer,’ says Gloria.
The lump was removed but the worst was confirmed. ‘It was a beautiful day and I was outside in the garden when Russ rang. It was like a bolt of lightning that went through me when he said: “It’s positive.” I waited until Russ arrived, then we went to tell Caron. From that moment on, the joy went out of my life.’
Caron was insistent on keeping her cancer private and she, Russ and their boys sought refuge from the glare of the public arena in Cornwall, buying a large house overlooking the bay in Fowey and later moving to Australia for the sun. ‘Caron kept her cancer a secret for fear of being seen as a victim. A few people obviously knew but nobody ever said anything or made it public,’ says Gloria.
Among the close circle was Cliff Richard. ‘Cliff has been a great family friend for 40 years. Spiritually, he was good to talk to. When he was performing in Australia he used to come and stay and we had great nights, always singing. Honestly, even when she was seriously ill, Caron was always up for a song. ‘One night, Cliff asked for her favourite song. It was Miss You Nights, so he sang it a cappella. He has sung it a cappella ever since because of Caron.’
But Caron finally lost her fight against the disease. ‘We had recently spent a great Mother’s Day, just the two of us, in Switzerland at a clinic which mixed chemotherapy with complementary medicine, which she loved. It was while she was having this treatment that everything went pear-shaped.
‘One day she said to me: “I’m so weak that I can hardly stand up.” Until that point, Caron had been so positive. She was taken to hospital and the doctor said: “Have you any idea how ill this girl is?”’ They drove her to Gloria’s house in Sevenoaks in Kent, just hours before she died. ‘She came into the kitchen, laughing and joking and she drank tea out of her favourite cup. She died in my arms. To be with her at birth and at death, in a strange way, is a lovely privilege. It was an open coffin until it was closed the day she was buried,’ she says softly.
‘Nothing hits you like the loss of a child because you cannot carry a child, give birth to a child and not be plunged into the most devastating state when you lose that child. It doesn’t matter what age that child is because it’s not the right order of life.’
Only the fact that her grandsons needed looking after got her through the ensuing weeks. ‘Caron and I never talked about death. The only thing she ever asked me was to promise to always look after the boys.’
Not only does she do that with a passion, but Gloria is also firmly focused on keeping her daughter’s memory alive. The Night Of 1,000 Stars is the latest tribute. ‘When the boys go along they see how much their mum is loved,’ she says. ‘We talk about Caron all the time.’
Some criticised Russ for marrying Caron’s friend, TV presenter Sally Meen, 47, less than two years after his wife’s death. The couple now have two daughters of their own, Tilly, five, and Flora, two. But it hasn’t blocked Caron’s memory being kept alive in Russ’s new family.
‘Russ helped me set up the foundation so he comes to some of the events. Sally was obviously in a hard position to start with. Any woman coming into that situation would take a while to find her place,’ says Gloria. ‘We had a fundraising event recently at the Palladium and Sally brought Gabriel so all of that is very smooth now. Sally’s done a great job looking after the boys – Caron would be so grateful. And the boys, thank God, are very well-balanced. The two little girls are gorgeous and even though they’ve got two grandmothers on their side they call me Nana.’
Meanwhile, each time Gloria finds a white feather she takes it as a message from Caron. ‘Caron always believed that a white feather was an angel’s calling card and I now believe it’s Caron’s so I pick them all up and keep them in jars. I wouldn’t be surprised if I find one at The Night Of 1,000 Stars.’
The Night Of 1,000 Stars is being held in aid of Gloria Hunniford’s charity, The Caron Keating Foundation, at the Royal Albert Hall on Sunday 5 May: 020-7589 8212, www.thenightof1000voices.com
Gloria has just celebrated her 73rd birthday but she still draws admiring glances and has a compelling, magnetic charm. Beneath the surface, however, she is constantly masking an undiminishing grief. As many readers will know, her life-changing tragedy happened when her daughter, Caron Keating, was diagnosed with breast cancer and died in her arms after a seven-year fight. She was just 41 years old. Also a much-loved TV presenter, Caron left behind her showbusiness agent husband, Russ Lindsay, and their two sons, Charlie, then aged 10 and Gabriel, seven.
Gloria felt like a ‘frozen cube’, trying to claw her way out of a black hole. But although she now has her megawatt smile back, her grief remains.
When Gloria was a child and troubled by something, her mother used to say: ‘Can you mend it, can you apologise, can you do anything about it? If you can, then do it and don’t leave any stone unturned. If you can’t, then let it go, because otherwise it will make you bitter.’
She’s never forgotten those wise words. Nor did she ever forget the determined work ethic installed in her by her draconian, newspaper advertising executive father.
Born in the front bedroom of a small terraced house in Portadown, Northern Ireland, Gloria was singing on the stage from the age of eight. After marrying cameraman Don Keating, she came to London in 1982 to stand in for Jimmy Young on Radio 2.
Although Don preferred to stay in Ireland, which led to their separation in 1985, their three children, Caron, Paul and Michael, stayed with Gloria. Yet she managed to juggle family and career, making her mark on radio and television and interviewing everyone from Salman Rushdie to Kirk Douglas.
Work was her first refuge after Caron’s death on 13 April 2004. ‘At first you go into this black hole, but a lady wrote to say: “Keep busy. It doesn’t matter what it is because it diverts your mind from loss.” She was right,’ says Gloria.
‘Work has always been my safe haven. So I took myself back to work within about two months. It made me think about other people and that was part of my coping,’ says Gloria who married celebrity hairdresser, Stephen Way, in 1998.
So too was setting up The Caron Keating Foundation with Russ. The foundation financially supports small but significant cancer charities that finance professional carers, treatment centres and support groups.
‘The foundation has been the explains Gloria. ‘After Caron died, thousands of people wrote to me – I stopped counting at 8,000 – but one letter stood out. The lady said: “Now you have to try to make sense of something that makes no sense and you have to find a way of carrying Caron’s spirit forward.”
‘Then she said something profound; that I have to remember that Caron had a very big soul and the soul is bigger than death and death is never the end. So in that one letter I realised I had to set up the foundation to help cancer sufferers all over the country.’
The foundation is a family-run tabletop operation. ‘I administrate it at no cost and we have one part-time secretary. That’s the only expense so all the money we collect goes into hands-on stuff, such as counselling services and transport to chemotherapy sessions.’
The latest fundraiser for the foundation is The Night Of 1,000 Stars, a star-studded evening celebrating musical theatre at London’s Royal Albert Hall, in May.
Introduced by Alan Titchmarsh and celebrating music from the productions of Hal Prince, the evening promises a roll call of stars singing songs from hit shows including West Side Story, Evita, The Phantom Of The Opera, A Little Night Music, Sweeney Todd and Cabaret.
Caron KeatingCaron was 34 and had just had her second baby, Gabriel, when she found a lump. ‘I said: “It’s only a milk lump, darling,” because at that point I personally didn’t know any young girl in her 30s who had breast cancer,’ says Gloria.
The lump was removed but the worst was confirmed. ‘It was a beautiful day and I was outside in the garden when Russ rang. It was like a bolt of lightning that went through me when he said: “It’s positive.” I waited until Russ arrived, then we went to tell Caron. From that moment on, the joy went out of my life.’
Caron was insistent on keeping her cancer private and she, Russ and their boys sought refuge from the glare of the public arena in Cornwall, buying a large house overlooking the bay in Fowey and later moving to Australia for the sun. ‘Caron kept her cancer a secret for fear of being seen as a victim. A few people obviously knew but nobody ever said anything or made it public,’ says Gloria.
Among the close circle was Cliff Richard. ‘Cliff has been a great family friend for 40 years. Spiritually, he was good to talk to. When he was performing in Australia he used to come and stay and we had great nights, always singing. Honestly, even when she was seriously ill, Caron was always up for a song. ‘One night, Cliff asked for her favourite song. It was Miss You Nights, so he sang it a cappella. He has sung it a cappella ever since because of Caron.’
But Caron finally lost her fight against the disease. ‘We had recently spent a great Mother’s Day, just the two of us, in Switzerland at a clinic which mixed chemotherapy with complementary medicine, which she loved. It was while she was having this treatment that everything went pear-shaped.
‘One day she said to me: “I’m so weak that I can hardly stand up.” Until that point, Caron had been so positive. She was taken to hospital and the doctor said: “Have you any idea how ill this girl is?”’ They drove her to Gloria’s house in Sevenoaks in Kent, just hours before she died. ‘She came into the kitchen, laughing and joking and she drank tea out of her favourite cup. She died in my arms. To be with her at birth and at death, in a strange way, is a lovely privilege. It was an open coffin until it was closed the day she was buried,’ she says softly.
‘Nothing hits you like the loss of a child because you cannot carry a child, give birth to a child and not be plunged into the most devastating state when you lose that child. It doesn’t matter what age that child is because it’s not the right order of life.’
Only the fact that her grandsons needed looking after got her through the ensuing weeks. ‘Caron and I never talked about death. The only thing she ever asked me was to promise to always look after the boys.’
Not only does she do that with a passion, but Gloria is also firmly focused on keeping her daughter’s memory alive. The Night Of 1,000 Stars is the latest tribute. ‘When the boys go along they see how much their mum is loved,’ she says. ‘We talk about Caron all the time.’
Some criticised Russ for marrying Caron’s friend, TV presenter Sally Meen, 47, less than two years after his wife’s death. The couple now have two daughters of their own, Tilly, five, and Flora, two. But it hasn’t blocked Caron’s memory being kept alive in Russ’s new family.
‘Russ helped me set up the foundation so he comes to some of the events. Sally was obviously in a hard position to start with. Any woman coming into that situation would take a while to find her place,’ says Gloria. ‘We had a fundraising event recently at the Palladium and Sally brought Gabriel so all of that is very smooth now. Sally’s done a great job looking after the boys – Caron would be so grateful. And the boys, thank God, are very well-balanced. The two little girls are gorgeous and even though they’ve got two grandmothers on their side they call me Nana.’
Meanwhile, each time Gloria finds a white feather she takes it as a message from Caron. ‘Caron always believed that a white feather was an angel’s calling card and I now believe it’s Caron’s so I pick them all up and keep them in jars. I wouldn’t be surprised if I find one at The Night Of 1,000 Stars.’
The Night Of 1,000 Stars is being held in aid of Gloria Hunniford’s charity, The Caron Keating Foundation, at the Royal Albert Hall on Sunday 5 May: 020-7589 8212, www.thenightof1000voices.com