'Why I love my wrinkes'
Wrinkles galore, forgetting things, a headache after a couple of glasses of wine? Undeniably, a few of the minor irritations of growing older. But compared with the glorious benefits of ageing, these trivial matters pale into mere insignificance.
Some years ago, I was invited to give a talk, sharing a platform with Deepak Chopra and Uri Geller. I was terrified. The audience was expecting these two ‘giants’ – not little old me. I raced from shop to shop looking for an outfit, for an age-defying cream, for anything to make me look young and interesting.
Then, mid-frazzle in a changing room, a voice inside me said ‘STOP!’ This event is going to be how you want it to be. Make it a commitment to being the best you can and stop focusing on what you look like.’
Those words would not have come to the younger ‘me’. In my late 40s I wanted to stay eternally young, desirable and sexy. By slowing down, checking in with myself in that changing room, I realised I had only been asked to deliver a talk because I had something to say. I only had something to say because I was older and had learned something about life.
While it hasn’t always been the case, today I enjoy my wrinkles. I nourish them with creams I can afford and I don’t expect any cream to wipe off the years. Why should I? I want my skin to be cared for, but only my ego wants it to look younger than it is.
To me, my older women friends look more beautiful with each year. They are more comfortable in their soft skins. They all have amazing life stories and their knowledge and understanding of the world have only been realised through hard-earned, ‘hands on’ experience. Money might still be a problem but they know how to cope; they know how to make do and mend and aren’t forever whining on about not having the latest gadget or holiday. They know how to make a simple space look fabulous.
While some women say they hate being older as it renders them invisible – others say what a joy it is to scuttle to the supermarket in pyjama bottoms and raincoat and no one will notice. Whether invisible or not, older women have gorgeous hands, faces, breasts, legs. Each part describing a life lived to its full capacity of joy and pain.
Over 50, if you want to be seen and heard you know you can be. By being slower and more conscious, not self-conscious, you just know you make a difference when you enter a room. Of course things change, but for the better. Over the age of 50, generally speaking, sexual relationships are not the same as they once might have been, but intimacy is more delicious.
You would be dead if you carried on making love with the same energy you did when you were younger. I don’t know about you, but I no longer want to swing o the metaphorical chandelier – I would rather snuggle up to my man and cuddle him, make love if we want to, laugh at the day we have had and vow to make tomorrow even better. When I was young, if we didn’t want to rip our clothes o the minute we arrived home from work, I was sure there was something wrong with the relationship. What bliss it is being this older woman in the sack.
Many older women would rather be single than give up their freedom. Single older women enjoy their own company. Others over a certain age have accepted that it’s the men who miss out by wanting young women and ignoring those older jewels under their noses. It’s their loss.
Being older allows you to stand back more, observe, and the sheer force of age and accumulated wisdom means you can accomplish more at this stage of your life than at any other. No longer in need of approval, we can be more outspoken, less judgmental and freer. Wear what you want to wear, these older years o er unrestricted experimenting. Never has it been a better time to be old. You can choose your clothes from any shop and no one will bat an eyelid – unless you want them to, of course.
Monica Troughton’s book, Magical Menopause, is published by In nite Ideas, priced £12.99. Monica also gives talks and facilitates workshops about ageing: email monicatroughton@aol.com
Some years ago, I was invited to give a talk, sharing a platform with Deepak Chopra and Uri Geller. I was terrified. The audience was expecting these two ‘giants’ – not little old me. I raced from shop to shop looking for an outfit, for an age-defying cream, for anything to make me look young and interesting.
Then, mid-frazzle in a changing room, a voice inside me said ‘STOP!’ This event is going to be how you want it to be. Make it a commitment to being the best you can and stop focusing on what you look like.’
Those words would not have come to the younger ‘me’. In my late 40s I wanted to stay eternally young, desirable and sexy. By slowing down, checking in with myself in that changing room, I realised I had only been asked to deliver a talk because I had something to say. I only had something to say because I was older and had learned something about life.
While it hasn’t always been the case, today I enjoy my wrinkles. I nourish them with creams I can afford and I don’t expect any cream to wipe off the years. Why should I? I want my skin to be cared for, but only my ego wants it to look younger than it is.
To me, my older women friends look more beautiful with each year. They are more comfortable in their soft skins. They all have amazing life stories and their knowledge and understanding of the world have only been realised through hard-earned, ‘hands on’ experience. Money might still be a problem but they know how to cope; they know how to make do and mend and aren’t forever whining on about not having the latest gadget or holiday. They know how to make a simple space look fabulous.
While some women say they hate being older as it renders them invisible – others say what a joy it is to scuttle to the supermarket in pyjama bottoms and raincoat and no one will notice. Whether invisible or not, older women have gorgeous hands, faces, breasts, legs. Each part describing a life lived to its full capacity of joy and pain.
Over 50, if you want to be seen and heard you know you can be. By being slower and more conscious, not self-conscious, you just know you make a difference when you enter a room. Of course things change, but for the better. Over the age of 50, generally speaking, sexual relationships are not the same as they once might have been, but intimacy is more delicious.
You would be dead if you carried on making love with the same energy you did when you were younger. I don’t know about you, but I no longer want to swing o the metaphorical chandelier – I would rather snuggle up to my man and cuddle him, make love if we want to, laugh at the day we have had and vow to make tomorrow even better. When I was young, if we didn’t want to rip our clothes o the minute we arrived home from work, I was sure there was something wrong with the relationship. What bliss it is being this older woman in the sack.
Many older women would rather be single than give up their freedom. Single older women enjoy their own company. Others over a certain age have accepted that it’s the men who miss out by wanting young women and ignoring those older jewels under their noses. It’s their loss.
Being older allows you to stand back more, observe, and the sheer force of age and accumulated wisdom means you can accomplish more at this stage of your life than at any other. No longer in need of approval, we can be more outspoken, less judgmental and freer. Wear what you want to wear, these older years o er unrestricted experimenting. Never has it been a better time to be old. You can choose your clothes from any shop and no one will bat an eyelid – unless you want them to, of course.
Monica Troughton’s book, Magical Menopause, is published by In nite Ideas, priced £12.99. Monica also gives talks and facilitates workshops about ageing: email monicatroughton@aol.com