A love letter to my Asperger's son
Kathy Lette has a cold. The type of cold you catch in a crowded Underground carriage, on a dank November afternoon. She is sitting on The Lady’s famous tangerine chaise longue, snuffling and looking, it must be said, ever so slightly sorry for herself.
Not that her trademark wit has been blunted by the coughs, splutterings and sneezes. Perhaps it’s her bespoke cold treatment – ‘Day Nurse and champagne’. Or her recent evening with Bill Clinton – ‘he may be ancient, but my, he’s got it,’ she says, fluttering her eyelashes at the very memory of it. ‘He’s got that ability to make you feel like you’re the only desirable woman he’s ever met.’
But then Kathy, whose bestselling books include Men: A User’s Guide, Mad Cows and How To Kill Your Husband (And Other Handy Household Hints), is also an Aussie of tough ‘convict stock’. A cold could never silence such a woman.
Despite her Australian background, however, Kathy is now a long-term expat, living in London with her QC husband Geoffrey Robertson and their two children, Julius and Georgina.
Not that she’s entirely embraced our British ways.
‘My grandmother had this great line when she heard I was moving to England,’ she smirks. ‘“You can’t go to England, Kath,” she told me. “That’s where all those convicts come from”.
‘The class system’s certainly still alive and well in Britain – even your letters travel first and second class,’ she says. ‘But it’s great being Australian because people can’t compartmentalise you. Socially, I’m Vaseline-coated. I can go smoothly from afternoon tea at a housing estate with single mums to dinner at Buckingham Palace with absolute ease.’
Indeed, despite being a committed republican, she has no problem rubbing shoulders with the Royals and followed with enthusiasm Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall’s successful recent tour of her homeland.
‘I gave him some of his lines,’ she reveals. ‘I went to a soirée at Clarence House (she wore an Aboriginal-print dress) and the Prince asked me for a few tips on what to say, so I wrote him out some stuff.
‘It’s hilarious, I kept seeing it popping up in newspapers. I suggested, for example, that if he was jet-lagged, he should say, “I’m a few sausages short of a barbie.” That kind of thing. I can’t tell you all the lines, though, or I’d be sent to the Tower.’
She also got the Queen tittering when she attended a recent Buckingham Palace event wearing her bespoke corgi-print dress.
‘I did a lot of coverage for the Royal Wedding, and didn’t feel like I could do it in a serious suit, so I phoned one of my girlfriends back in Australia and asked her to run me up a dress covered in corgis,’ she explains. ‘She did it perfectly and posted it over. It’s proved very popular – it practically needs its own agent.
‘During the Jubilee, there was an Australian reception at Buckingham Palace. I could just imagine all the staff running around nervously beforehand, hiding the silverware before the convicts arrived,’ she jokes. ‘Anyway, I wore the dress to that and the Queen threw back her head with laughter when she saw it.
‘I probably went a bit far, though. I told her that I was worried about wearing it because one of her corgis might try and mate with my leg. At that point, Philip went, “Right, let’s move on!”’
BUT SERIOUSLY…
But Kathy does have her serious side. Her most recent novel, The Boy Who Fell To Earth, was inspired by her 21-year-old son, Julius, who has Asperger’s. ‘It was extremely traumatic coming out about that,’ she confesses. ‘Originally, I decided to write the book, but not reveal my own personal circumstances. But then I was asked directly if I had a son with Asperger’s – and I thought that if I lied, it would look like I was embarrassed.
‘In fact, the opposite is true – he’s amazing and brave – so I asked my son what to do. He loves the book and thinks that it helps demystify the condition, so he’s really proud of it and gave me his permission.
‘I lost so much sleep about it, though, and my husband didn’t want me to write it at all – in fact, we had quite a few heated arguments about it. But it’s only been good. It’s a love letter between mother and son.’
Asperger’s syndrome is a form of autism, often characterised by significant problems with social interaction. Despite still being widely misunderstood, however, it attracted significant media coverage during Asperger’s sufferer Gary McKinnon’s 10-year battle to avoid extradition to the US for hacking into military computers (his extradition was finally halted this year by Home Secretary, Theresa May).
‘In terms of being socially acceptable, Asperger’s is where dyslexia was. But we probably all know someone who is on the spectrum. I always ask women when I’m talking about it around the country, “Think about your own husband: is he a football fanatic? Does he catalogue his music alphabetically? Is a trainspotter? Planespotter? Is he socially awkward? Does he always say the wrong thing? There’s a lot of it around, undiagnosed.
‘You don’t want to label people, it’s just a way of understanding them. A way for them to get the right kind of help.’
As a feminist, she is also incensed by the current state of politics in Britain. ‘Our cabinet is maler, paler and staler than ever,’ she says. ‘Many male politicians have the condescension chromosome. Just look at what David Cameron said to Nadine Dorries. She was talking about abortion issues and he said she was just frustrated – and everyone tittered. His cabinet is a disgrace. Women make up half of the population and we just don’t have the representation.
‘And it’s not just politics,’ she continues. ‘A recent Women In Journalism survey analysed what was on the front pages of newspapers: 84 per cent of stories on the front pages are about men; 79 per cent of them are written by men; women are either pictured in a bikini or, if they’re powerful, looking weird. It’s shocking.’
THE REEL DEAL
Not that she has any plans to run for Parliament. For now, she’s focusing on a new series of novels and has just finished Quick Reads, a short, pithy book for emergent readers. ‘They’re for people who have English as a second language, or dyslexics, or people who have just grown up without books in the house,’ she explains. ‘They’re to hook people into reading.’
Oh, and The Boy Who Fell To Earth is being made into a Hollywood film, starring Emily Mortimer, daughter of her late friend and Rumpole creator, Sir John Mortimer.
‘Emily has known Julius all his life so she’ll do a great job, but normally I prefer it when the films of my books don’t get made,’ she laughs. ‘Usually, they’re terrible. After Mad Cows – which is on the list of the 10 worst films ever made – I started buying all the film rights back. Seeing one of your books made into a bad film is like watching your child carried off by Cossacks.’
And with that, Kathy is carried off into the wet November night by her cold – and perhaps the promise of another glass of champagne.
The Boy Who Fell To Earth, by Kathy Lette, is published by Bantam Press, priced £12.99.
Kathy will be speaking at The Lady Literary Lunch at The Cavalry And Guards Club on Tuesday 4 December. For details, click here
Not that her trademark wit has been blunted by the coughs, splutterings and sneezes. Perhaps it’s her bespoke cold treatment – ‘Day Nurse and champagne’. Or her recent evening with Bill Clinton – ‘he may be ancient, but my, he’s got it,’ she says, fluttering her eyelashes at the very memory of it. ‘He’s got that ability to make you feel like you’re the only desirable woman he’s ever met.’
But then Kathy, whose bestselling books include Men: A User’s Guide, Mad Cows and How To Kill Your Husband (And Other Handy Household Hints), is also an Aussie of tough ‘convict stock’. A cold could never silence such a woman.
Despite her Australian background, however, Kathy is now a long-term expat, living in London with her QC husband Geoffrey Robertson and their two children, Julius and Georgina.
Not that she’s entirely embraced our British ways.
‘My grandmother had this great line when she heard I was moving to England,’ she smirks. ‘“You can’t go to England, Kath,” she told me. “That’s where all those convicts come from”.
‘The class system’s certainly still alive and well in Britain – even your letters travel first and second class,’ she says. ‘But it’s great being Australian because people can’t compartmentalise you. Socially, I’m Vaseline-coated. I can go smoothly from afternoon tea at a housing estate with single mums to dinner at Buckingham Palace with absolute ease.’
Indeed, despite being a committed republican, she has no problem rubbing shoulders with the Royals and followed with enthusiasm Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall’s successful recent tour of her homeland.
‘I gave him some of his lines,’ she reveals. ‘I went to a soirée at Clarence House (she wore an Aboriginal-print dress) and the Prince asked me for a few tips on what to say, so I wrote him out some stuff.
‘It’s hilarious, I kept seeing it popping up in newspapers. I suggested, for example, that if he was jet-lagged, he should say, “I’m a few sausages short of a barbie.” That kind of thing. I can’t tell you all the lines, though, or I’d be sent to the Tower.’
She also got the Queen tittering when she attended a recent Buckingham Palace event wearing her bespoke corgi-print dress.
‘I did a lot of coverage for the Royal Wedding, and didn’t feel like I could do it in a serious suit, so I phoned one of my girlfriends back in Australia and asked her to run me up a dress covered in corgis,’ she explains. ‘She did it perfectly and posted it over. It’s proved very popular – it practically needs its own agent.
‘During the Jubilee, there was an Australian reception at Buckingham Palace. I could just imagine all the staff running around nervously beforehand, hiding the silverware before the convicts arrived,’ she jokes. ‘Anyway, I wore the dress to that and the Queen threw back her head with laughter when she saw it.
‘I probably went a bit far, though. I told her that I was worried about wearing it because one of her corgis might try and mate with my leg. At that point, Philip went, “Right, let’s move on!”’
BUT SERIOUSLY…
But Kathy does have her serious side. Her most recent novel, The Boy Who Fell To Earth, was inspired by her 21-year-old son, Julius, who has Asperger’s. ‘It was extremely traumatic coming out about that,’ she confesses. ‘Originally, I decided to write the book, but not reveal my own personal circumstances. But then I was asked directly if I had a son with Asperger’s – and I thought that if I lied, it would look like I was embarrassed.
‘In fact, the opposite is true – he’s amazing and brave – so I asked my son what to do. He loves the book and thinks that it helps demystify the condition, so he’s really proud of it and gave me his permission.
‘I lost so much sleep about it, though, and my husband didn’t want me to write it at all – in fact, we had quite a few heated arguments about it. But it’s only been good. It’s a love letter between mother and son.’
Asperger’s syndrome is a form of autism, often characterised by significant problems with social interaction. Despite still being widely misunderstood, however, it attracted significant media coverage during Asperger’s sufferer Gary McKinnon’s 10-year battle to avoid extradition to the US for hacking into military computers (his extradition was finally halted this year by Home Secretary, Theresa May).
‘In terms of being socially acceptable, Asperger’s is where dyslexia was. But we probably all know someone who is on the spectrum. I always ask women when I’m talking about it around the country, “Think about your own husband: is he a football fanatic? Does he catalogue his music alphabetically? Is a trainspotter? Planespotter? Is he socially awkward? Does he always say the wrong thing? There’s a lot of it around, undiagnosed.
‘You don’t want to label people, it’s just a way of understanding them. A way for them to get the right kind of help.’
As a feminist, she is also incensed by the current state of politics in Britain. ‘Our cabinet is maler, paler and staler than ever,’ she says. ‘Many male politicians have the condescension chromosome. Just look at what David Cameron said to Nadine Dorries. She was talking about abortion issues and he said she was just frustrated – and everyone tittered. His cabinet is a disgrace. Women make up half of the population and we just don’t have the representation.
‘And it’s not just politics,’ she continues. ‘A recent Women In Journalism survey analysed what was on the front pages of newspapers: 84 per cent of stories on the front pages are about men; 79 per cent of them are written by men; women are either pictured in a bikini or, if they’re powerful, looking weird. It’s shocking.’
THE REEL DEAL
Not that she has any plans to run for Parliament. For now, she’s focusing on a new series of novels and has just finished Quick Reads, a short, pithy book for emergent readers. ‘They’re for people who have English as a second language, or dyslexics, or people who have just grown up without books in the house,’ she explains. ‘They’re to hook people into reading.’
Oh, and The Boy Who Fell To Earth is being made into a Hollywood film, starring Emily Mortimer, daughter of her late friend and Rumpole creator, Sir John Mortimer.
‘Emily has known Julius all his life so she’ll do a great job, but normally I prefer it when the films of my books don’t get made,’ she laughs. ‘Usually, they’re terrible. After Mad Cows – which is on the list of the 10 worst films ever made – I started buying all the film rights back. Seeing one of your books made into a bad film is like watching your child carried off by Cossacks.’
And with that, Kathy is carried off into the wet November night by her cold – and perhaps the promise of another glass of champagne.
The Boy Who Fell To Earth, by Kathy Lette, is published by Bantam Press, priced £12.99.
Kathy will be speaking at The Lady Literary Lunch at The Cavalry And Guards Club on Tuesday 4 December. For details, click here