Dear Patricia Marie,
I am hoping that you can help me with the problems I am having with my neighbours, who have become increasingly confrontational and rude to me. This is due to the number of dogs and cats that I now have in my home.
It started with me taking on a friend’s dog and cat when she was the victim of domestic abuse, and could no longer look after them. Soon after that, I heard of some kittens which the owner was going to drown, as they were an unwanted litter, so I said I would take them on. Then, an elderly neighbour died, and I couldn’t allow his children to have his little Yorkshire Terrier put down, so I volunteered to have her. At the moment I have 13 cats and 6 dogs in my 2 bedroomed house.
Unfortunately, the cats go into the neighbouring gardens to do their mess, which I cannot really do anything about, and because of limited space for the animals to play, there can be a lot of barking at times. However, I could not possibly give any of them up as they have already had such traumatic lives. What can I do? I am worried that the RSPCA will be called and will take them away from me.
Patricia Marie says...
Animal hoarding is a serious issue and needs to be addressed. It is very clear that you only ever wanted to love and care for these animals, yet somehow you have lost your way and things have escalated out of control, particularly as you are unable to provide adequate space for them to run and exercise, or to train and clean up after them.
I believe the sad stories behind each pet you have accepted, has influenced you in making wrong choices. You say you don’t wish them any further trauma, yet you need to see that the animals are clearly stressed, as demonstrated by the constant barking. It seems inevitable that you will receive a visit from the authorities, and could risk losing all your pets. To avoid the distress this will cause, I urge you to act now and contact either the dog warden for your area, through your local council, or the RSPCA, as both will be able to offer immediate help and advice. Their main priority will be to ensure the needs of the animals are being met, which in your case are not, and will more than likely suggest the majority need to be re-homed. To make this less painful, perhaps you could work together with the animal welfare team to find suitable new homes for your pets, which would benefit them greatly. For further reassurance, you could even ask potential owners to send you regular updates.
You do need to look after yourself too. I believe you are suffering from seriously low self -esteem. It seems you have been struggling, unable to say ‘no’ and feel a strong sense of responsibility for others. Attempting to say ‘yes’ to everyone can often result in bad decisions being made, hence the appalling situation you now find yourself in. I would recommend a visit to your GP, who could refer you for some counselling sessions to explore your emotions, and help you to make more positive decisions in the future.
I’m sure when things become more settled, and you are in a better state of mind, you will look back on this situation, and be proud of yourself for doing the right thing.
Patricia Marie, our Agony Aunt, wants to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quarrels. Just email them to patricia.marie@lady.co.uk
